thoughts.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, praying, crying, yelling, etc as I guess is to be expected. As a reader, I naturally have gravitated towards various self-help books, some of which have been actually helpful. That’s pretty much the end of that thought.


Things I want/need to do to take care of myself:

1. Read. I want to be drowning in books. I want to come home from a long day of work, make some tea and shovel some food into my mouth while I am pouring over my latest book.
2. Crossfit. I have become increasingly dedicated to this form of exercise over the past few months. It’s an incredible release – emotionally and physically. I did my very first Toes-to-Bar on Wednesday and I literally screamed. I sounded like a silly girl, but I didn’t even care. And to the credit of my amazing fellow-crossfitters, they all laughed with me and cheered. The entire class. I then proceeded to do another one, and then several more during the workout for the day. Best feeling ever. Now, I am going to get a (unassisted) pull-up before my birthday in August. That’s the goal.
3. Have amazing conversations.
4. Pour out love. I feel this need to just be extra, really, incredibly nice to people. I hope that doesn’t sound weird, of course I normally like to be nice to people. I just feel like being extra nice and loving on people because people are awesome and wonderful and they deserve to be loved.
5. Listen to myself. Do whatever I feel like I need to do in the moment. Take extra long showers, spend money on myself and in ways I would have been made to feel guilty about spending money before. Paint my finger nails hot pink. Dye my hair. Redecorate. Spend hours sleeping in, staying up late, watch trashy TV shows. Light more candles and spend extra time snuggling with my cat. Play kickball (I joined a league). Meet new people. Spend time with wonderful friends. Love on my family. Play board games. Write more. Drink wine on a Tuesday. Buy flowers. Listen to loud music while dancing around the house cleaning. Cry when I need to cry and accept the acceptance when it comes.

Be more daring. In the books I read, in the way I love people, in the way I love God, in the way I love myself.

“Write hard and clear about what hurts.” -Ernest Hemingway

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