Life is so crazy good these days. And also just crazy. I'm so busy that I can hardly see straight. I've been working a lot of overtime at work, which is both awesome and exhausting. Then I rush to Crossfit most nights and drag myself home afterwords for dinner and a shower. I don't even know the last time I read a book, but I have STACKS and STACKS of them waiting for me. And then there is Andrew. I don't write about him much, mostly because I feel like I would just sound all mushy-gushy-lovie-dovie because that's how I feel. So to try to avoid that, I will just say this. Things are good. I never knew it was even possible to be this happy in a relationship. We have a big love.
It especially blows my mind when I think about how unhappy I was when I was married. I thought I had found "the one" and I WAS SO WRONG. Oh so unbelievably wrong. And then on top of the unhappiness and the being wrongness, divorce entered in to the equation and it felt like relief for the teeniest second and then it felt like begin dragged through the mud. Everything I ever thought I knew about this person who said they had loved me for almost a decade went flying out the door and hit every single bone in my body on the way out. If integrity was money, he would have had mayyyybe enough to buy a coffee. And this was a person I chose to marry. That I pledged to love forever. And I was SO SO WRONG. So everything you've ever thought gets called into question. All of my judgement and decision-making abilities suddenly have no merit. Which was an interesting balance when I started dating again. I really didn't trust myself, but thankfully Andrew made things pretty easy. He just kinda walked into my life with his huge heart and perfect sense of humor and won over everyone in my life. My parents are bananas about him, my brother loves him, and he makes me laugh every single day. Just right now he looked at me and said, "What are you doing? Blogging?" and when I said yes he followed up with "You're beautiful, you're amazing, I love you, write nice things about me" and I couldn't help but laugh.
Anyway I don't know where I am going with all of this except that I wanted to write it down. I wanted to get the crazy out of my head. Sometimes I feel this weird pressure to be pegged as a certain kind of blogger - a DIY blogger or a fashion blogger or a lifestyle blogger, but then I get distracted by donuts and shiny things and forget that I've even supposed to pick one. At this point, I think its safe to say I eschew them all. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE fashion bloggers and DIY bloggers and lifestyle bloggers. Some of my favorite bloggers fall into those categories and they are huge inspirations to me. And maybe someday I will too. But for now, I'm gonna stick with the party planning and house decorating and occasional crossfitting and pool days and too many donuts. For the first time in a long time, this craziness fits me just fine.